Grief is the price of having loved someone, and there is no way around it, only through it. In the days and weeks after a loss, many people are surprised by how physical it feels, how unpredictable it is, and how little it resembles what they expected. If you are grieving right now, the most important thing to know is that whatever you are feeling is allowed, and that you do not have to carry it alone. This guide offers a gentle sense of what grief can look like and, more importantly, where to find caring support close to home.

Being gentle with yourself

In the early weeks, especially, it helps to lower your expectations of yourself. Rest when you can, even when sleep is hard to find. Try to eat something and drink water, even when you have no appetite. Let people help you, and let yourself say yes when they offer, because most people genuinely want to and simply do not know how to ask. Give yourself permission to set down the tasks that can wait. Grief takes real energy, and treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend is not indulgence. It is care.

When grief needs more support

For many people, grief slowly softens over time, even though it never fully disappears. Sometimes, though, it stays sharp and heavy in a way that makes daily life feel impossible for a long stretch, and that is a sign that extra support could help. There is no shame in reaching for it. Talking with a grief counselor, a support group, your doctor, or a trusted member of your faith community can make a real difference. And if grief ever brings you to a place where you are thinking about harming yourself, or you feel you cannot go on, please reach out right away. You can call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, any time of the day or night, and someone will be there to help.

Support close to home

You do not have to look far for compassionate, experienced help. The North Country has grief support woven right into the community, and much of it is free.

•               Hospice of the North Country. Serving Clinton County and northern Franklin County, it offers grief and bereavement support to families and friends.

•               High Peaks Hospice. Serving Essex County and much of the Adirondack region, it offers bereavement support and grief groups at no cost, and that support is open to community members whether or not your loved one was ever a hospice patient. You can reach their bereavement team at (518) 891-0606 or bereavement@highpeakshospice.org.

•               The Compassionate Friends. For a family grieving the death of a child, this national organization offers understanding from others who have walked the same painful road.

Holidays and anniversaries

Certain days ask more of us than others. Birthdays, anniversaries, and the long North Country winters can bring grief roaring back even years later, and that is entirely normal. There is no obligation to celebrate the way you always have. Some families keep a loved one’s traditions alive, others create new ones, and some simply give themselves permission to have a quiet year. Whatever you choose, planning a little for those harder days, and letting the people around you know you may need extra grace, can make them easier to carry.

Supporting someone else who is grieving

If it is someone you love who is grieving, you may feel unsure what to say. The truth is that presence matters more than words. You do not need the perfect thing to say, and you certainly do not need to fix anything. Showing up, listening, saying the person’s name out loud, and offering something concrete, such as a meal, a ride, or an afternoon of company, means far more than saying "let me know if you need anything." Grief can be lonely, and steady, quiet company is one of the kindest gifts you can give. One very important suggestion is not to push a grieving person into doing something they are not ready to do.

How we help

Our care for a family does not end when the service does. We can connect you with the right local grief support, point you toward resources for your particular kind of loss, and answer the practical questions that keep surfacing in the months that follow. Please think of us as a place you can return to. If you are not sure where to turn, start by calling us, and we will help you take the next step.

Where to go from here

These guides in the Resource Center walk through related questions in plain language.

•               What to Do When Someone Dies: the first steps in the hours after a death.

•               Understanding Funeral Costs: what shapes the price and the questions worth asking.

•               Veterans Burial Benefits and Military Honors: what a veteran and their family have earned.

We are here whenever you are ready

Grief is heavy, and you were never meant to carry it by yourself. If you need someone to talk to, or you simply do not know where to begin, you can call Heidrick Funeral Home at (518) 561-5111. We will listen, and we will help you find the support you need.

This guide was written by Jerod Heidrick, a New York State licensed funeral director and co-owner of Heidrick Funeral Home in Plattsburgh and Heidrick-Zaumetzer Funeral Home in Au Sable Forks. The local resources described here are current as of August 2026. Programs and contact information can change, so when in doubt, call us and we will help you find the right support.